What the fuck have you done?
Are you satisfied now?
Yeah, I watched it, and by God, I have never raged as hard as I ever could... everything everything was HOLLY-FUCKING-WOOD. I realize this will become just as many as other skeptics and critics blogs on this fucking movie a rage fest, I just didn't believe it. Deep inside me I believe Toriyama would put a stop to this, or at least make the movie a bit like his ever loved classic.
Why I RAGED:
1. Let me see..."Namaste" I think that is okay...until Chow Yun Fatt decide to say it, and his Sifu is called Norris?! (The hell did this came from? I know he has a rival and he ain't an afro american in a yellow shaolin dud)
2. Fucking illogical... first he was like... kid with a gift, halfway through, without ever going all the explanation, he could FUCKING 10,000 BC RUN WITH A BACKPACK 5 TIMES HIS SIZE CHASING DOWN A FUTURISTIC SUPERBIKE AT THE SAME PACE! (the hell?) (not to mention he could move Ala Agent Smith fighting with Roshi first)
3. Set up, without going through the label wise, which in Toriyama's world a world where aliens, robots, werewolves, mankind all lived in peace...this world is a jumble juxtaposition of Post Apocalyptic with Minority Report futura standards...yet again, there are Indians, living in a village...next to what appears to be modern day university there is a house...made of chinese standards, and an old temple with Kung Fu students directly above a New York like place. HOO HAA. (Toriyama was good enough to balance that out, this movie did not even try)
4. The fuck what? Dark as shit fight scenes with aliens? Lack of characterization? Piccolo "LOL I AM A MEGALOMANIAC" and annoying as fuck wannabe be a redneck Yamcha? That all went to hell.
5. Kame-hame-HAH! Apparently it can be used to heal people now...and bring them back to life. (include cliche scene where Goku apparently spoke with grandpa..."no, it is not your time yet" (eerie voice echoes...) also...apparently Goku can fly now towards the end...shooting Kamehameha while bursting upwards with Piccolo ended in ONE SHOT.
6. What happened to the epic fight between him and the monsters? It could have been great, remember than Dragon? And that the cruel Dragonman who killed the villagers? Could have been done better...especially since the monsters were DARK AS SHIT I CAN'T SEE A THING OTHER THAN THEM GETTING THROWN INTO LAVA LOL.
7. The epic fight between Piccolo by Toriyama...it was the good fight, before all the other jazz-it-up enemies appeared... you name it, Freeza, Cell, Buu, Vegeta, etc...the power levels... IT IS BELOW 9000! It was ended so quickly, Piccolo spent more time circling the air while under Ma Fu Ba (hehehe...shitty name), rolling around and talking shit than actually fighting, and when he did...it was all ended. snap!
Piccolo was supposed to mean "Tiny" by the way in Italian I think...serves that right, pencil dick. All your powers....(holding down Gohan with PSYCHIC powers, CRASHING A HOUSE BY BALLING UP YOUR FIST, sent the fish flying by pulsing all waters out from a river, blew up an entire town with a small dose of power...) ALL THAT AND HE DIDN'T EVEN USE IN A REAL FIGHT TO GAIN AN ADVANTAGE. ARE YOU SO EVIL YOU ARE FUCKING RETARDED?!
8. Oh hi, large as hell APE MAN, good work...Gohan sure knowns the best things in the fabric business...IT CAN EXPAND MORE THAN THE HULK'S PANTS AND NOT GET TORN! See that scene? That is shit...he turned 40 times large and he went back, his clothes fit as snug as a motherfucker on a rollercoaster after 40 pints of Stella Artois! (by that, I mean the complete opposite)
I guess, that is about it.
So, in all honesty, if you spare one moment...allow me to take a deep breath.
This movie has wasted all my good hopes on Hollywood... SERIOUSLY, can't you guys do it like Watchmen did it? Batman? Maybe even Hulk (the remake)? I don't ask for much, there is just no justification for churning this horror out.
Congrats, Toriyama can't even justify your faggotry.